Make room for the other version
Ask what the other person understood before assuming that you are arguing about the same facts. For a message about how to set social media privacy rules as a couple, use this factual base: name the current pattern, concrete impact, and decision that needs both partners' attention.
Correct the record precisely
Correct only what you can support, acknowledge any real impact, and propose a practical way to prevent repetition. Ask for a time and format to discuss one issue, then identify any outside support that could help. Make the immediate next step clear enough that the recipient can answer without reconstructing the entire history.
Agree on a testable next step
Do not threaten abandonment, use intimacy as leverage, or demand an answer during an unsafe or heated moment. Use specialist domestic abuse or emergency support when coercion, violence, stalking, or immediate danger is present. Do not recruit an audience, publish private evidence, or turn a misunderstanding into a campaign about character.