Clarify the agreement that existed
Identify the promise, policy, schedule, ownership, or shared understanding that applies before assigning blame. For a message about how to support someone after an earthquake, use this factual base: confirm what they have shared, their current location or immediate need, and avoid repeating unverified information.
Resolve the next dependency
State what is complete, what remains disputed, and which action would move the situation forward. Offer one concrete resource, task, safe place, transport option, or flexible check-in. Make the immediate next step clear enough that the recipient can answer without reconstructing the entire history.
Document without threatening
Do not photograph, publish, fundraise in their name, or arrive at a crisis site without permission. Follow local emergency, evacuation, shelter, trauma, and safeguarding guidance before relying on a personal message. Keep a factual record and describe only remedies you are entitled and prepared to use.