Account for the relationship as it is now
Use a tone that fits the present relationship, not the closeness, authority, or access that existed in the past. For a message about how to support someone starting therapy, use this factual base: reflect what the person has told you, any immediate concern, and the practical context without diagnosing them.
Ask without assigning an obligation
Explain what you hope for while making decline, delay, or a different format genuinely acceptable. Offer one manageable form of support and ask directly about safety when you have a serious reason to worry. Make the immediate next step clear enough that the recipient can answer without reconstructing the entire history.
Keep the ending honest
Do not shame, threaten, promise secrecy about imminent danger, or make yourself the only source of help. If someone may harm themselves or another person, contact local emergency or crisis services and a trusted nearby person now. Avoid future promises, guilt, flattery, or nostalgia that imply the recipient owes you access.