Clarify the agreement that existed
Identify the promise, policy, schedule, ownership, or shared understanding that applies before assigning blame. For a message about how to support someone with depression after a death, use this factual base: reflect what the person has told you, any immediate concern, and the practical context without diagnosing them.
Resolve the next dependency
State what is complete, what remains disputed, and which action would move the situation forward. Offer one manageable form of support and ask directly about safety when you have a serious reason to worry. Make the immediate next step clear enough that the recipient can answer without reconstructing the entire history.
Document without threatening
Do not shame, threaten, promise secrecy about imminent danger, or make yourself the only source of help. If someone may harm themselves or another person, contact local emergency or crisis services and a trusted nearby person now. Keep a factual record and describe only remedies you are entitled and prepared to use.